


and if you're homesick, give me your hand and i'll hold it

by invictaria



Category: Empire (TV 2015)
Genre: Brotherly Love, Brothers, Gen, Kid Fic, Pre-Series, but it's always all about these two for me, mentions of the Lyon family, sweet nothings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:20:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4866269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invictaria/pseuds/invictaria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>It's not fair</i>, he thinks as Hakeem sleeps curled up beside him, holding his shirt like he's afraid Jamal'd leave him alone. He does that a lot, sneaking in his bedroom in the middle of the night and staying there until morning, but Jamal doesn't mind it, because it feels nice to have someone to hold and he remembers all to well what it feels like to be scared of the dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and if you're homesick, give me your hand and i'll hold it

Jamal is ten the first time he writes a song.

His mum has been gone for almost three years, and they live in a much nicer house than before, when she was still around.  
It has a lot of rooms and stuff in it, fancy stuff his father bought for them, toys and instruments and a giant tv they have to share, and also people who look out for them and feed them and make sure they brush their teeth before bed, but it lacks of Cookie, of the warmth and safeness she was capable to provide, and Jamal misses her something terrible.

He can't say that to his father, because when Jamal does so he gets mad and then starts yelling, and also he's not always around, these days, too busy with work to get home at night.  
Jamal suspects Lucious misses her too, but doesn't want to think about it.

He can't say that to Andre either, because ever since he started nineth grade he's become insufferable and mean, and never wants to speak about their mum anyway.  
Jamal suspects he doesn't miss her at all.

The only one he can trust to listen to his ramblings about their mum is Hakeem, because he always listen to whatever Jamal has to say like it’s the most amazing story of all time.

Hakeem is almost four and he also rambles a lot on his own, so it's only fair if Jamal can do the same when they're together (so, basically all the time).

Hakeem is almost four and smiles a lot, the brightest smile on Earth, with dimples on the side that make his round face look really cute; Jamal adores him, even when he's being annoying and too loud, running around and making a mess when Jamal has to do his homeworks, and sometimes, even if Hakeem is always smiling and laughing and playing around, he worries about him, about the fact that he's too young to remember a time when their mum was still with them.

 _It's not fair_ , he thinks as Hakeem sleeps curled up beside him, holding his shirt like he's afraid Jamal'd leave him alone. He does that a lot, sneaking in his bedroom in the middle of the night and staying there until morning, but Jamal doesn't mind it, because it feels nice to have someone to hold and he remembers all to well what it feels like to be scared of the dark.

_It's not fair that you don't remember how soft her hands were, how nice her scent was, how loud her laugh._

_It's not fair that you don't know what it feels like to have a mum._

So, he puts all those memories in a song, just like Lucious did when Cookie left, and starts to hum it to his little brother whenever he feels like it. At the end of a rough day, when Hakeem gets restless or feels sick, when the phone or a letter can’t fill the void Cookie left behind. 

_I got you_ , she said, and Jamal wants to say _I got you back mum, I won’t let Hakeem forget you, I promise._

Hakeem gets all quiet when Jamal sings his song, and looks for his embrace with the same stubborn vehemence of a puppy, hiding his face in Jamal’s lap and breathing deeply against his bellybutton. Jamal always accepts the embrace, and pets Hakeem head real gently, just like Cookie used to do when he was little.

 _I got you_ , she said, and Jamal wants to say the same thing to Hakeem. _I got you, I got you, I got you, little brother. I got you. I won’t never let you go. I promise._

**Author's Note:**

> YAY, the show is baaaack!! i'm so excited!!!
> 
> (actually i'm super sad about the whole thing between my precious babies and also between Jamal and Cookie, so that's why i'm posting this little thing. I just hope they'll be okay real quick, i can't stand them being miserable and apart :°( 
> 
> also Hakeem is a baby and he's MY BABY and i love him so much my heart bursts. And Jamal :°( i feel so bad for him, ugh. Can't wait for the next episode!)
> 
> if you want to come talk to me about empire, check my [tumblr](http://invictaria.tumblr.com) :)
> 
> thank you for reading, and sorry if there's too many mistakes!


End file.
